A day in the life of Antoine Griezmann

Ben Mountain

Antoine Griezmann: men want to be him and women want to be with him. But it’s not all plain sailing for the in-demand Frenchman.

You’d think that a man who has it all lives a pretty sound life. He’s got the looks, the skills and the money. At first glance, he’s living the life of Riley. But not all is as it seems. A day in the life of Antoine Griezmann is quite the challenge.

The fella has work to do throughout the day and it all starts with an early morning phone call, as we at CLICKON Soccer found out last week.

This is what Antoine had to say about his average day.

“Well, lads, I tend to start my mornings with two things. The first is that I role out of bed, head to the mirror and just stare, admiringly, for several minutes. Sometimes I gently whisper ‘Bonjour, Antoine’ or wink at my reflection and then, most importantly, I fix my hair with my thumbs and little fingers. Then I get cracking with my day.”

“From here, I head onto my second task. This one is very important, you see.”

“I’ll either hop onto my laptop or my phone and then muck around with a few minds. It’s fun. Some mornings I’ll post something vague and misleading like ‘Now more than ever. Atleti. All together’. Or, though I never quite posted this one, ‘Utd bound #lol #as #if’. You know, just to get people talking.”

“But my very favourite thing to do in the morning is this. Sometimes I’ll call up Jose Mourinho and just sit there silently, listening to him try and work out who’s on the line…”

“‘Antoine, is that you?’ he’ll demand. I don’t say a word. Then, just as he’s about to hang up, I whisper ‘How’s Zlatan holding up, big boy? You missing me?’ He goes bloody ape, let me tell you. It’s hilarious, I’ll show you guys one time.”

“Then, when I’m feeling extra cheeky, I’ll call up Ed Woodward as well. You know when you dial *67 first and your number doesn’t show? Yeah, I do that.”

“‘Hello Mr Woodward, this is Drew Peacock calling. Why do you look like a Rugrat so much?’ That’s what I say. Oh my God, guys. You should hear him go. I save this one for special occasions only. It sets my day up well, you know?”

“To be quite frank with you, I’m a cheeky chappy. ‘Griezey the Geezey’, they call me.”

“Anyway, after my morning antics I set off for the serious business. This normally means heading off to training.”

“I find it difficult to get there, actually. Because I’ve got this problem where I can’t use any of my fingers other than my little one and thumb to do anything. I mentioned it before about sorting the old barnet.”

“You seen that advert? Yeah, life’s difficult I’ll tell you.”

“So, as you can imagine, driving about is a mission.”

“But if I get to training alright, I crack on. The fingers don’t matter then. Though I do feel obliged to whip them out whenever I score a goal in the lads’ five-a-side sesh. Apparently it’s really cool.”

“And when the hard work is over, Griezey the Geezey comes back out to play. I tend to have a laugh with the boys and use a couple old school antics to wind ’em up.”

“Sometimes I pants Fernando and other times I’ll tap Koke’s shoulder and run to the other one.”

“‘Oh Geezey, you blummin’ ledge’, they all laugh.”

“I just love winding people up and having a laugh. Because it’s not all work and no play around here.”

“What next? Well, this week I’ve got a very special plan. I dunno if I can tell you lads.”

“Ah, whatever. It’s all a laugh, innit?”

“Basically, I’ve got a very busy week ahead. I’m gonna get back on the phone and pull a few strings. I’ve got a bit of an influence over that young Kylian Mbappe kid, who’s also French.”

Antoine Griezmann is third on Manchester United’s list of priorities, behind Kylian Mbappe & Alvaro Morata. [Di Marzio] #MUFC

— Man Utd Updates (@Utd__Updates) May 31, 2017

“Well, though this will be tough, I’m gonna play a little prank on my old pals Jose and Ed again. I’ll bell Kylian and a couple of my mates in the press and get them to pretend the kid is interested in going to United this summer.”

“[Laughing] Can you imagine their excited little faces? Bless ’em. They’re so naive, those United staff. Almost as bad as their fans. Imagine me going to them. Haha. They don’t have a chance with Kylian.”

“I really am full of laughs.”

And so, that was it. We said he’s facing a challenge, didn’t we?

A day in the life of Antoine Griezmann is full of surprises.

Do you reckon Jose Mourinho will fall for the Frenchman’s antics? Keep an eye out and we’ll soon see.

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