Jason Day thoroughly blasted for slow play by mysterious attacker

Sharon Wong


SEE ALSO: The other time Jason Day caught some flack, it was for not saving his wife from Lebron James

There’s a shark loose in Abu Dhabi Golf Championship, although there’s barely any water. A mysterious guest columnist for Golf Club Wanker who calls himself the Secret Tour Pro has been anything but sparing with his opinion on his fellow players. Last week, he bashed Shingo Katayama’s putting stroke and just this Thursday, has taken a sizable bite out of Jason Day for slow play. Check out his colorful, three-paragraph rant:

“The biggest high-profile culprit of slow play is Jason Day! We should call him Jason AllDay, he’s that slow! F**k me, he reminds me of that moment at the dentist when your [sic] having a root canal and any moment he will be finished and the [sic] he utters those dreadful words ‘just a few more minutes and I’ll be done!’

I watched him on the 17th at the BMW in November taking nine minutes over his tee shot on a Par 3! Yes, you heard that correct, NINE F***ING MINUTES!*

Who takes nine minutes over a tee shot? I could of [sic] played that hole, read a book, took a shower [sic], washed my hair and got dry in that time! The game has gone beyond a joke! In total his round took 5hr 45min, just think in that time I could of (nearly) [sic] flown to New York from Europe!”

Someone’s gotten his feathers ruffled, certainly. We’re wondering who exactly this fellow must be. He’s either someone way below Mr. Day in the rankings or he could be Jordan Spieth trying to take the focus off his own bout of slow play. Sure, Spieth’s well-known to be a nice guy, but he’s also a pretty good actor.