Dustin Johnson withdraws from the Wells Fargo amidst “suspicious” circumstances

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Dustin Johnson withdrew from the Wells Fargo Championship yesterday for “undisclosed reasons”. Players are allowed to withdraw from a tournament anytime prior to the Thursday, although this is frowned upon.

Suspicions were raised when Dustin Johnson looks to have have sustained a serious injury whilst “dancing” with his fiancee, Paulina Gretzky.

We all have a lil Erika Jayne in us @djohnsonpga @theprettymess @bravoandy

A video posted by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on


As you can see from this clip, DJ is left with a severely torn manhood. The choreographed routine confirmed our worst fears, DJ has been severely “whipped” and his recovery could take some time. An injury of this nature is perfectly excusable, players need R&R and DJ is simply recuperating with his fitness professional.

Worst still, DJ’s health and well being specialist has been gloating about the injuries she has inflicted on her client. As you can see by the words: “sorry, I ain’t sorry,” she shows no remorse.

Sorry, I ain’t sorry ???? @kmelnichenko

A photo posted by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on

We wish DJ a speedy recovery. It could well be beneficial for his future success that he remains with his health specialist. The injuries he has sustained are only temporary, patients who find themselves “whipped”, have a plethora of options going forward. We can look forward to seeing a rejuvenated player at TPC Sawgrass next week. Hopefully his vision has fully recovered from excessive selfies.

????❤️☀️ @djohnsonpga

A photo posted by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on

This is a step in the right direction, DJ used to spend his spring breaks in slightly more unsavoury environments, “allegedly”.

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