European Ryder Cup rookie Danny Willett’s brother (of Masters fame), tweeted a link to an article he wrote for National Club Golfer, insisting that he “means every word” of his multi-volume Ryder Cup treatise brimming with a healthy contempt for U.S. golf fans.
P.J. broke onto the scene during the Masters when his succession of hilarious Tweets entertained thousands during the final stages. There is no doubt in my mind that this will be one of the most partisan crowds in Ryder Cup history.
In the piece, titled “I ain’t partisan, he’s my brother,” dear P.J. doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to his comments on golf fans on the other side of the Atlantic. Acknowledging that “an uncomfortable, anti-American sentiment has started to bubble deep inside,” Danny’s brother spews forth on the page:
“Team USA have only won five of the last 16 Ryder Cups. Four of those five victories have come on home soil. For the Americans to stand a chance of winning, they need their baying mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Like one of those brainless bastards from your childhood, the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly (f**k you, Paul Jennings), they only have the courage to keg you if they’re backed up by a giggling group of reprobates. Team Europe needs to shut those groupies up.
“They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.
“They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make Donald Drumpf Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.
They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.”
We’re guessing that poor Danny boy’s Hazeltize experience will be “uncomfortable” in its own right, thanks to brother P.J.
See the full piece here. And for what it’s worth, Willett’s thoughts on team-building are actually worth reading in their own right.
*featured image via P.J. Willett’s Twitter