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    •  January 30, 2017

    Fan harasses Sergio Garcia for 206 days, lands a caddying gig

    January 30, 2017
    Boredom Spieth
    Contributor
    Boredom Spieth
    Contributor

    In today’s “News Items I’m not Sure we Should be Celebrating” feature: A Twitter egg who was Twarassing Sergio Garcia for the last 206 days.

    Now, normally when a heterosexual male is this persistent in asking another heterosexual male for something it’s? It’s…What is it? Does this ever happen? In Mark Johnson’s case, he asked the Spaniard 206 times if he could carry his golf bag.

    Never has there been seen a more persistent desire to caddie!

    Johnson fired off this tweet in July and never looked back, sliding into Garcia’s mentions on a daily basis.

    Finally, Garcia responded, sending Johnson’s heart aflutter by telling him he could loop during the British Masters practice round.

    Ho ho! A great story! A good time will be had by all! But really, is this the sort of thing we should be celebrating? What are the odds he swoons and can’t carry Garcia’s bag? And let’s hope they pat down Mr. Johnson thoroughly at the British Masters.

    Anyway, because #Letmecaddieforyou is a thing, and in an effort to encourage deranged ex-boyfriends the world over, here are some of Johnson’s more notable please.

    She’s right

    *Your

    Derp.

    Poor woman

    Boredom Spieth
    Contributor
    Boredom Spieth is not an alias. Boredom Spieth is a proud Stetson-wearing Texan, as you can see in his photo.
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