Golf Digest is highly aroused by Kate Upton’s Swimsuit Issue cover

It’s another Kate Upton cover. But my God, Alex Myers, please put it back in your pants!

Never missing an opportunity to file a T&A oozing item, Mr. Myers filed this brilliant item on occasion of Kate Upton having the honor of gracing the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover again.

The piece’s title: “Let’s not forget SI Swimsuit Issue cover girl Kate Upton also dabbles as a golfer.” Right. Let’s not forget? The hell she does.

Myers is of course referring to the desperate and absurd cover/feature (even by Penthouse/Golf Digest’s ever-sinking standards) of 2013. In the December ‘13 issue, Upton was “taught” to play golf by the great Arnold Palmer. Yes, that’s a real angle the magazine actually took.

And as you can tell by this swing that’s as ungainly as a newborn foal taking its first steps, Palmer’s “lessons” didn’t really help.

But really, it’s master wordsmith Myers that we’re focused on here. You see, Myers “dabbles” as a comedian, with hilarious lines like these.

For the third time, @KateUpton is the @SI_Swimsuit cover girl! https://t.co/5ctJdMt2nb pic.twitter.com/qVeReKJkof

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) February 15, 2017

“You see . . . hey! Are you still looking at those new covers? Stop that! Pay attention to us! She was on our cover once, too!”

“So there you have it. We created a golfer in Kate Upton. And, OK, so we probably lost your attention on this matter a long time ago.”

Hilarious! Get it? Because “we” started fapping instead of reading! The kids have a term for Alex Myers types, and it rhymes with “cluck joy.”

Sidebar: The narrative tension of the Palmer-Upton photo shoot and article, just going to come out and say it: Arnold, did he smash? You know you were wondering it too (although very unlikely).

Also, is it right that a muppet who looks like this spends so much time writing about the attractiveness of women?

Definitely not.

But then again he works for a company with a horrendous track record for women that are featured in their magazine.. Behold, the inglorious history of women on the cover of Golf Digest.