It’s another Kate Upton cover. But my God, Alex Myers, please put it back in your pants!
Never missing an opportunity to file a T&A oozing item, Mr. Myers filed this brilliant item on occasion of Kate Upton having the honor of gracing the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover again.
The piece’s title: “Let’s not forget SI Swimsuit Issue cover girl Kate Upton also dabbles as a golfer.” Right. Let’s not forget? The hell she does.
Myers is of course referring to the desperate and absurd cover/feature (even by Penthouse/Golf Digest’s ever-sinking standards) of 2013. In the December ‘13 issue, Upton was “taught” to play golf by the great Arnold Palmer. Yes, that’s a real angle the magazine actually took.
And as you can tell by this swing that’s as ungainly as a newborn foal taking its first steps, Palmer’s “lessons” didn’t really help.
But really, it’s master wordsmith Myers that we’re focused on here. You see, Myers “dabbles” as a comedian, with hilarious lines like these.
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) February 15, 2017
“You see . . . hey! Are you still looking at those new covers? Stop that! Pay attention to us! She was on our cover once, too!”
“So there you have it. We created a golfer in Kate Upton. And, OK, so we probably lost your attention on this matter a long time ago.”
Hilarious! Get it? Because “we” started fapping instead of reading! The kids have a term for Alex Myers types, and it rhymes with “cluck joy.”
Sidebar: The narrative tension of the Palmer-Upton photo shoot and article, just going to come out and say it: Arnold, did he smash? You know you were wondering it too (although very unlikely).
Also, is it right that a muppet who looks like this spends so much time writing about the attractiveness of women?
But then again he works for a company with a horrendous track record for women that are featured in their magazine.. Behold, the inglorious history of women on the cover of Golf Digest.