What would golf look like with LaVar Ball in the field?

Tarek Fattal
Subscriber

What would LaVar Ball on a golf course look like?  Better question might be: What would it sound like? Maybe something like this, ‘Jordan Spieth, oh, I’d kill ’em out here on the golf course!’

The outspoken father of new-NBA rookie Lonzo Ball has been media honey for almost a year now. Saying things like he’d beat Michael Jordan one-on-one, his son Lonzo is better than 2-time MVP Steph Curry, and even predicting that his oldest son would lead the Lakers to a playoff appearance this NBA season.

LaVar’s quotes are the epitome of taboo, but how would golf react to LaVar if he was in it’s world?

Here’s a visual. This past week LaVar forfeited a basketball game by demanding his team (starred by youngest son LaMelo) walk off the court after being issued a technical foul for arguing an official’s call in an AAU event.

To imagine LaVar debating a golf rule with a Rules Official is laughable. But not sure it would be bad for golf, or would it?

Many of golf’s rules seem to be in the beginning stages of changing, making things more lenient in nature. Marking a ball on the green, no penalty if the ball moves while searching for it, and even search time, are just a few of many rules proposed to be altered to loosen the game up a bit.

LaVar’s biggest struggle wouldn’t be his ability to follow rules, but his conduct and etiquette required by golf and it’s culture.

For one, Big Baller Brand would need to make a polo, because a collared shirt is required. But forget about LaVar being quiet in an opponent’s backswing, or during a putt. And the one time he nails a putt from 12 feet, he’s going to let everyone know about it, as he parades around the green before putting all his weight on his front foot to reach down and grab the ball out of the cup, directly in the next putter’s line!

The only time we’ve seen the loud and prideful father make a reference to golf was earlier this year when he mentioned the hypothetical thought of Tiger Woods creating his own brand, like LaVar plans to do with Big Baller Brand and his three sons.

“Just imagine how rich Tiger [Woods], Kobe [Bryant], Serena [Williams], [Michael] Jordan and LeBron [James] would have been if they dared to do their own thing. No one owned their own brand before they turned pro. We do, and I have three sons, so it’s that much more valuable.”

LaVar isn’t the first of his kind. Sports history has shown us overbearing parents like Serena and Venus’ father, Richard, Todd Marinovich’s father, Marv, Andre Agassi’s father, Emmanuel. What makes LaVar different is the new age of media – the guy always has a microphone or video camera in his face.

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