The true story behind the fake plaque at one of Trump’s courses

Trevor Woods

Disclaimer: This piece is satire

Fake news is at it again! Attacking President Donald Trump for having a historic plaque at one of his golf courses.

At his amazing golf course, the luxurious Northern Virginia Trump National Golf Club, there is a river that President Trump says was an important piece of history in the Civil War. He has a plaque commemorating the battle that ensued at his golf course over a century ago.

image source: Twitter

As you can see, Mr. Trump’s proclamation is pretty concrete, something major happened here! But the fake news media, historians, and other so called “experts” disagree with the esteemed President.

In the Civil War, soldiers were in the United States, both from the North and the South, so it makes A LOT of sense that at some point they would have crossed each other on a river and fought to the death.

Hello! People need water and have boats, and the water was highly sought after in this spot… after all, Donald Trump would not have purchased the land if it wasn’t the best river in the history of rivers. When a soldier is shot, he will bleed, and if he is in the river at the time, the river will become bloody. This is basic assertions the fake news doesn’t want to admit to.

Enter local historian Richard Gillespie, who says there is no way anything like that ever happened there. Mr. Trump had the PERFECT RESPONSE, saying “How would they know? Were they there?”

Richard Gillespie is not 157 years old, so there is no way he knows anything about the subject. And unless anyone was there to witness this bloody battle, how can we trust what they are telling us. When in doubt, believe the President, politicians do not lie to the American people.

“That was a prime site for river crossings. So, if people are crossing the river, and you happen to be in a civil war, I would say that people were shot — a lot of them,” Trump said.

No one knows more about history than Donald J. Trump, as he once again wows us with his intellect and knowledge of the Civil War. People did cross rivers in the civil war, what he’s saying really makes the case full-proof that his plaque is accurate. The fake news cannot alter history no matter how hard they try.

There comes a point where we as a society need to stop looking at evidence that shows President Trump is lying. It could be a major conspiracy that has been in the works for over one hundred years by the media, attempting to cover up this Civil War battle from the public. But that isn’t who Donald Trump is, he has not lied once in his presidency, and no one has ever been more trustworthy than him, not even Abraham Lincoln!

The “River of Blood” really happened, and the ghosts of those who died there haunt the golf course, making easy putts a taller task than any other golf course in the world. If you don’t believe me, I say back to you, how would you know? Were you there? Do not let the historians and people with excellent backgrounds fool you about this issue. What do they know?

Disclaimer: This piece is satire

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