Outside the virtual world, there’s a couple of human beings being obnoxious, arrogant and mouthing off like they’re the toughest people to ever walk the earth.
Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor have convinced themselves of their high ranking within society. But it’s about time they were knocked down a peg or two.
And there’s no better way of doing that than reliving the greatest fighting game ever made ‘Tekken’ and some of the characters who wouldn’t need more than three rounds before having Mayweather flat on the canvas – nope, Paul Phoenix, rather unsurprisingly doesn’t make the list.
tekken 2: jack 2
tekken 4: jack 4
tekken 5: jack 5
tekken 6: jack 6
tekken 7: jack 7
tekken 3: gun jack pic.twitter.com/kJCkXwwLbC
— fish @Ray's route (@sephithot) June 2, 2017
The original Jack was designed and built by the Soviet Union, and we all know how much America’s main men cower to the Russians these days?.
The character is inspired by both a Japanese wrestler called “Tiger Mask” and a Mexican wrestler called “Fray Tormenta”; a combination of two wrestlers is always going to make for a deadly hybrid.
And there ain’t no chance that Mayweather is surviving a ‘619’ – a move made famous by Rey Mysterio. And sure, a ‘619’ isn’t a legal boxing move, however, Mayweather isn’t averse to bending the rules.
AK is three fighters in one: Crippler Crossface (Chris Benoit), Spear (Edge) and Modified F-U/Attitude Adjustment (John Cena). Whereas, unless Mayweather can become a combination of Mike Tyson, Wladimir Klitschko and Muhammad Ali overnight, then the aim for a half-century of wins unscathed is over.
The first – and to our recollection only – ninja from space ? Yoshimitsu’s fighting style combines agility with pace and a pogo stick! Yep, a pogo stick. And there would be nothing funnier than Floyd Mayweather’s perfect record being stopped by a kid’s toy – and that’s before you remember that ‘Money’ has already trademarked ’50-0′.
3) Kuma- Tekken
BRO HES A BIG OL' BEAR THAT FIGHTS FOR YOU HES A GOOD BOY AND I MAIN HIM IN EVERY TEKKEN GAME pic.twitter.com/ZkJ2KRmeDo
— Scrumbis Bumbis (@scrubnoppon) July 4, 2017
No need to add more here when the above tweet sums it all up: mate, he’s a god damn bear! You lose, Floyd.
Granted this is a stupid article, but the very fact Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are having their fight is the very definition of ‘stupid’; it’s a mockery of the sporting world and it’s important that, that is never forgotten.
Don’t give these two sporting Neanderthals the time of day, and instead, dust off that PlayStation 1 and remember a time where Paul Phoenix wasn’t such a joke character within the Tekken storylines – will he ever win a tournament?