We have all taken part in a game of five-a-side, whether it be in one of the many competitive leagues dotted across the country, or whether it has been a knockabout between a group of friends or work colleagues (who are trying to sort out their working differences on the pitch).
However, regardless of how competitive the competition is, or who you have been playing with, there is always some of the same things to happen during and after a game of five-a-side that will have happened to each and every single one of us.
1. Someone does not get the memo about what colour shirt to bring
2. Someone will always claim that their goal would have been worthy of Goal of the Season had it been captured on TV
— Powerleague (@powerleagueUK) August 18, 2017
3. Someone will always arrive late from work, have prior arrangements or not even turn up, knowing full well what time kick-off was. It is not cheap to hire out a pitch these days!
Valentine's day problems… pic.twitter.com/eS21UureWe
— 5-a-side.com (@5asidecom) February 14, 2017
4. One person will bring someone with them who had a “legitimate chance” of playing as a professional
I've been organising 5-a-side for a long, long time but don't think anyone has sold me such a promising tale before this, yesterday… pic.twitter.com/XxsySpC8c9
— 5-a-side.com (@5asidecom) June 20, 2017
5. There will always be someone who is trying to recover from a heavy night – even on a Tuesday– it’s always Happy Hour somewhere in the world
5 a side drunk is going to be fun
— Ryan Muir (@Muiry_) September 8, 2016
6. The full-time analysis will continue in the WhatsApp group, picking apart each person’s performance and working out how they contributed to the result
If you happen to have an extremely stubborn best friend, it is ALWAYS advisable to archive ANY compliments they give you and keep them in a safe place, even if it's only half a compliment. This one is landing straight up onto the mantlepiece. Always suspected @eoin_obrien_ had a secret admiration for my footballing abilities/disabilities since Rang Nelson pulled off one of the biggest sporting shocks of the modern era on Sports Day 2010, after seeing off the notorious Rang Sweeney in an epic encounter in which the referee had absolutely no say on the result whatsoever. 16-08-2017, never forget. #5aSide #FakeNews #Opta @eoin_obrien_ @gubbins94 @andyflinter
7. Overhead height will no doubt be argued by everyone at some point in the game – “There’s Bob who is 6ft 6in and there’s Phil who is 4ft 11in! Whose height do we go by?!”
— At The Races (@AtTheRaces) January 21, 2016
8. Someone will continuously talk about the one match, a month after it had finished stating it was the best match they had ever been a part of – “Remember when? – Yeah, we get it!”
9. By the end, though, we will all end up in the local Wetherspoons with a pint in our hands, ready to do it again next week!
— 5-a-side.com (@5asidecom) April 21, 2016