Tom Brady may be the greatest drinker in NFL history too

Plenty of Tom Brady anecdotes have flooded the net this month on occasion of the GOAT’s 40th birthday and the impending kickoff (sorry) of the NFL season.

One of two men to win seven Super Bowls, stories of the New England Patriots quarterback’s competitiveness are legion. You don’t bring your team back from 28-3 down in the Super Bowl at 39 years of age without a raging competitive fire. That is, what Brady does to keep his body performing at the highest level five years beyond when a quarterback’s performance should fall off a cliff, is evidence of his singular dedication to excellence.

Think about. It’s not a platitude. No other quarterback trains and prepares the way Brady does (under the watchful eye of the controversial Alex Guerrero) and with the same intensity. It’s a disservice to the time he puts in planning his work and working his plan to act like Brady is a unicorn.

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That said, let’s not fill our plate with those type of Brady stories. Instead, here are two more obscure Tom Brady anecdotes for your dining (or rather, drinking) pleasure.

Brady, by all reports, isn’t much of a drinker (it might upset the alkaline balance in his body). That said, he’d have been a welcome addition to any Michigan fraternity, owing to his prodigious drinking ability. Specifically, No. 12 can chug a beer.

As evidence of this fact, we have reports from both former backup Brian Hoyer and now-retired guard, Ross Tucker: Brady can drain a mug with the best of ‘em.

Here’s Hoyer, talking with ESPN Boston’s Mike Reiss.

“We played up at Buffalo and we couldn’t fly back into Boston because the weather was so bad, so we had to stay the night in Rochester. We drove there, and we all decided we’d go out to dinner together. Tom being who he was, he usually couldn’t come to a team event like that.

We might be at Capital Grille and he is sneaking in the back door and then people realize he’s there and he has to leave. But this was impromptu at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que in Rochester. The whole team is there. And it turns into a beer-chugging contest.

“You have linemen, Julian Edelman, they all think they are going to win. Then someone says, ‘I heard Tom is really great at chugging a beer.’ We don’t usually get to experience him like this, but we finally coax him into doing it. He does it, and let me tell you, you couldn’t have poured out the beer faster into a glass.

It was unbelievable. And he slams the mug on the table and puts both fists in the air. He walks away with a look on his face that said, ‘You really thought you were going to beat me on this?’ The place went nuts.”

So, Brady can chug a beer faster than 350-pound linemen? “You couldn’t have poured out the beer faster into a glass” than Brady poured it down his throat, according to Hoyer. If you were conceiving of how the 12-time Pro Bowler ought to drink a beer, it’s exactly like that: better than everyone else.

If you thought Brady’s performance at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que was some sort of an exercise in mythmaking by former understudy Hoeyer, read what former Pats lineman Ross Tucker wrote for Sports on Earth a few years back. This time, the scene is a BBQ joint in Foxboro.

“We went to a local barbecue place near the stadium in Foxboro after practice one time, and there were two different occasions where Brady’s eyes displayed his trademark fire. The first was when some of the veteran offensive linemen started talking to the rookies about a chugging contest. No big deal for these guys and given that they were fresh out of college, you would think they’d be at the top of their game. I was surprised to see Brady take part.”

No big deal for these guys and given that they were fresh out of college, you would think they’d be at the top of their game. I was surprised to see Brady take part.”

“The rookies looked at the seemingly pretty boy quarterback and laughed. I think I snickered myself. We all should’ve known better….I still have never seen anybody chug a beer faster than Tom Brady. You should’ve seen the way he slammed down his cup — it was like he was spiking the ball after a TD. It was hilarious. It was awesome. It was textbook Brady.”

Like spiking the ball after a TD! Have to assume it looked something like this…

So remember, sports fans, you don’t want to face Brady on the football field or at the bar. Really, Brady is cut from the Michael Jordan “I want to beat you at all costs” cloth, and if he has to guzzle a beer at an inhuman rate to do that, so be it.

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