FIFA 18 is right around the corner and as players across the globe prepare to fork out their respective monetary equivalents of £50 for the same old game, here is a run through of the many international FIFA player stereotypes.
Of course, FIFA is always considered to be a bit of harmless fun for the majority of folk out there, but for those players who live for a 90th-minute winner, perhaps one too many of the entrants on this list will be all too familiar.
The King Of Excuses
“No come on, you definitely pushed me” or “that was pure momentum, no skill involved!” or “I had something in my eye”. No matter what the excuse may be, this guy will always find a way to degrade your triumph.
The FUT Guy
“Kick-off game? Nah mate, I’ve got 8 packs to open tonight”.
— EA SPORTS FIFA (@EASPORTSFIFA) September 6, 2017
These are the guys who go into a game with the sole purpose of tricking their way all the way to a three goal lead, before sitting back and messing around with the ball for the better part of 10 minutes. Frustrating would be an understatement.
You could be knee deep in a dramatic 2-2 game with massive personal stakes on the line when this fella just pauses to go on his phone every two minutes. Worse yet, he’s probably one of the best players out of all your mates.
If there’s a tournament to be made or a league to be organised, this man will take leadership above all others. The rules will be set out in an extremely strict manner, and he will captain your pro clubs team regardless of his overall ability.
The Bad Winner
If you’ve ever watched a professional wrestling match you’ll know that there is a babyface and a heel, or a good guy and a bad guy. This entrant almost certainly falls into the latter category, with a reputation for ruining everyone’s day.
It doesn’t matter if there’s a stray throw in that should’ve gone the other way or if there was a ‘disallowed’ goal, but the rager will turn into The Incredible Hulk at the first sign of asking. If you get a late winner, you may want to start saying goodbye to your loved ones.
Playing Fifa before work is a bad idea, concede a 90th minute winner… so which customer is getting nutted first?
— Jack Lester (@J_Lester94) September 3, 2017
This one is a tad rarer, but if you’re faced with the possibility of one of your mates being a FIFA YouTuber it’s not a fun experience. Their demeanour will be different, they’ll be more stressed and they’ll probably ask you to film with them. Do the right thing, always say no.
These stereotypes are now so common that many will question whether it is even possible to play FIFA without falling into one of these categories; either way, we’ll all end up buying the 2018 edition to find out.