Grr: What Annoys Roy Keane The Most?

Ben Mountain

Roy Keane is an angry, angry man and lots of things wind him up. He’s the sort of fella, we feel, to find even puppies and smiling to be inconveniences.

Most weeks our Twitter ends up filled with Keane’s bearded face, slagging off whichever minor gripe has become his next target. It happens so frequently, in fact, that no one really pays attention anymore.

Both Mick McCarthy and Sir Alex Ferguson have both famously fallen victim to his sharp and overused tongue, if you didn’t already know. Actually, few people haven’t.

Keane once told McCarthy the following:

“Mick, you’re a liar… you’re a fu****g w***er. I didn’t rate you as a player, I don’t rate you as a manager, and I don’t rate you as a person. You’re a fu****g w***er and you can stick your World Cup up your a**e. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country! You can stick it up your b****cks.” Roy ‘Potty Mouth’ Keane

Anyway, we’ve done some more research and discovered the Irishman’s most disliked dislikes. And they’re slightly less sweary.

In no particular order, of course…

1) The Sun

Nope, we’re not talking about the parasitic red-top here but the actual ball of gas that keeps our planet alive. Keane has reportedly expressed his frustrations about it, suggesting “people go all soppy and happy when it’s warm… The sun needs to work a bit harder and appreciate being able to shine in Manchester. If it doesn’t, it can p**s off for all I care.”

2) Everywhere outside of Ireland and Manchester

“I just don’t see their purpose,” vented a seething Roy Keane one summer’s day. The cheery weather had already wound him up and then a reporter asked where his favourite holiday destination was. Telling Keane that ‘Dublin’ and ‘Salford’ didn’t count, the Irishman retorted this infamous response to anywhere outside of his beloved homes.

“The way I see it, people in England don’t appreciate having Manchester in their country. That makes them very, very stupid. And I have no time for stupidity, okay?”

3) Footballing TV personalities

A slightly controversial one, we know. Keane has previously stated that he can’t stand the sort of pundits who only end up on TV because of their playing career and so have to build on an over worked image to galvanise a slither of personality. Like Joey Barton pretending to be the hard nut Buddhist, or Roy Keane pretending… Actually, we’ll ignore that comparison.

4) Children

“I just don’t see why people do it to the rest of us. They scream, they smell, they don’t contribute anything to anyone. When I was their age, I was actually already an adult. They’re lazy. Christ, I’ve got five of them so I should know. And why do they goddam laugh so much? Really grinds my gears.”

5) Beards

Rumour has it that Roy Keane has attempted to fight the bearded Brian Blessed on numerous occasions and feels “an overwhelming sense of hatred and anger” every time he sees Dumbledore on the box. He told reporters that he only grew his own beard to a ridiculous length “to taper my issues with them, I’m much calmer now.”

6) Money

“I hate it, I really do. It makes the players we see today the raging melts we see today. Players on way too much money don’t bother. I don’t care for the stuff.” Keane has a net worth of over ¬£35m.

7) Sleeping

“It’s for the weak,” Keane once grumbled. An inside report into the everyday life of Roy Keane showed how the Irishman survives off a two-hour ‘power nap’, three raw steaks and a good splash of cold water.

8) Rory McIlroy

“What kind of little t*sser dare ask me for an autograph?”

9) Football

Surely this is the man’s greatest hatred. He gets so irate about it so often is has to be. Does anyone know another soul to complain so much about one sport?

Start the discussion

to comment