“It’s beginning to feel a lot like Glitchmas, every game you own.”
It must be that time of the year again; that crazy period when publishers rush out their annual franchise installment, just in time for the capitalist festivities.
And with every rushed release, there’s a million glitches waiting to be found by excited customers. Think of them as easter eggs, rather than irritating bugs that really shouldn’t be appearing in games that cost £60.
If you brought WWE 2K18 early, then you might be ecstatic at finding so many easter egg bugs in your latest purchase. The good folk at 2K Games have a proud history in the art of glitching up their games, and their latest WWE release is no exception. Early players have found a wide array of bizarre and ridiculous glitches in the game, all of which somehow bypassed 2K’s testers.
Come with us now then, on a journey through time and space; a trip to an alternate universe, where the laws of physics have been turned upside-down and the glitch is king…
Stone-Cold Stunner into the Void
Our favourite type of wrestling match is the one set in perpetual nothingness. You can keep your falls-count anywhere fights because in this match, falls-count nowhere.
You must battle your way through eternal darkness, attempting to score a pinfall over an opponent. But do not gaze too long into the abyss, because the abyss will surely gaze into you. And the only way to win such a match, is to stunner your opponent. Stunner them straight into non-existence.
— Retro: Old Crap Enthusiast (@ThatRetro) October 13, 2017
We would feel sorry for Earthquake but sadly, we no longer remember who he was. His entire being has been removed from history thanks to this philosophical finisher into the void.
The Couch Lock
We as humans often wonder: what if inanimate objects were given life? Would it be exactly like that bit in Fantasia? That’d be pretty sweet. Funny little objects dancing around with us in time with classical music.
But what if it wasn’t like Fantasia – what if the objects turned on us? If this did happen, the first thing that the revolting self-aware objects would probably do is put John Cena in an ankle-lock. Obviously.
— Terrestrious (@Terrestri0us) October 15, 2017
This glitch is a dire warning to all humanity – sentient couches will cause immense pain to John Cena’s ankle.
If objects gaining independent thought wasn’t bad enough, WWE 2K18 also offers another terrifying nightmare: mind-control.
— Tree Top (@treetoptastic) October 14, 2017
We’re not sure how the Ultimate Warrior gained such powers – was it after he loaded the spaceship with rocket fuel? Or maybe he gained them from being a nasty, bigoted human being? We may never know, but for Daniel Bryan it doesn’t matter because he’s dead now. RIP Daniel.
The Contemplative Ref
Sometimes, it all becomes too much for you. There you are, going about your normal life and BAM! What are you doing? Why are you here? You lurch off into daydreams about what could’ve been. How your life might’ve been so much better if you got that job as a sprite in the Wolfenstein game, killing Nazis and s**t and — hey, ref! C’mon, wake up and count the pin!
— The Fox (@KLizard60) October 13, 2017
No, 2010-era Batista. There will be no pin-counting today. In fact, there’ll be no more pin-counting ever again from me. My pin-counting days are over now.
Massage in a Rumble
Anything can happen in a Royal Rumble match. Literally, anything.
Here's Shinsuke Nakamura giving Samoa Joe a sensual message. One that sent Randy Orton AWOL, breaking the Rumble. pic.twitter.com/1gOO508NGL
— Richard Wakeling (@richardwakeling) October 14, 2017