An Insight Into Sam Allardyce’s First Team Talk As U.S. National Team Manager

Adam Brown

Sam Allardyce has barely been retired for half a year, and he’s already eyeing up another manager’s role in football with the news that the former England manager is interested in taking charge of the U.S. national team.

What has changed Big Sam’s mind? It may be no coincidence that this news comes shortly after Roy Hodgson’s victory over Chelsea with Crystal Palace, Allardyce’s previous club.

Interestingly, there was some communication between Allardyce and Hodgson over some text exchanges after the Eagles momentous victory at the weekend.

“Wow.” – Sam Allardyce (18:28)

“Age is but a number, Sam.”  – Roy Hodgson (18:59)

“I’m beginning to regret my retirement statement.” – Sam Allardyce (19:01)

“Lol” – Roy Hodgson (19:06)

Realising that he was only turning 63 this year, there’s no reason why the former Bolton manager couldn’t stay in football for a few more years – especially with the chance of managing in a World Cup. Clearly the retirement hadn’t been thoroughly thought through.

With the United States national team job available following their failure to qualify for Russia 2018, Big Sam is reported to have contacted representatives at the teams headquarters.

“Who has applied for the head coach role?” – Sam Allardyce

“Alan Pardew, David Moyes and Brad Friedel.” – USMNT Representatives.

“I’m flying in tomorrow then.” – Sam Allardyce

“What?” – USMNT Representatives

*This caller has ended the conversation*

While Sam Allardyce may play “hoofball”, no one can deny his effectiveness. Anyway, other than unattractive football and the odd dodgy scandal, there’s no reason why the United States won’t hire the former England manager. It’s a smart move, he gets to enjoy a lifestyle in the sun, watch the odd game and the food there offers much more variety than in the UK – at a much better price.

With Big Sam’s first game in charge set to be against Portugal in November, this is what we can expect from his first team talk in charge.

*Nodding to assistant manager Kevin Nolan as he enters the changing room*

“Right. We’re aware of how abysmal that qualifying campaign was, I have no idea how we have a population of over 320 million people and can’t put together a squad to beat a couple of Island nations. Rightly or wrongly, it’s time to forget that campaign now. We have a chance here to show everyone that it was simply a miraculous circumstance.”

*Taking out a strip of chewing gum from blazer inside-pocket*

“A good result against these lot here can show that we’re still the best team in North America. Let’s not forget that Portugal are European champions. So this is how we’re going to set up, it’s what we’ve been working on in training all week.”

*Moving to the magnetic tactics board*

“We’ll be setting up in a 6-3-1 formation. Standard back four, but we want our two wingbacks who are ahead of the two fullbacks to work as a unit, contain and squeeze the ball-carrier once we’ve forced them outwide.”

“Bradders, (Michael Bradley) I need you to be the anchor, which means that everyone needs to shuffle on Michael’s command. The Portuguese will be looking to set up wide and spread us out, so when they do that – fullbacks need to tuck in and the wingbacks will join the midfield to make a 5. Inevitably, we will frustrate them and hit them on the break when they over-commit.”

“In our attacks, which are all from counters and set pieces, we’re looking for Jozy’s movement to be solid, ideally dragging the centrebacks around the field to create better match-ups, which we can then look to utilise our pace and double over-laps on the wing. We need to cross the ball into the box whenever possible.”

“Right then, have a quick drink and then we’ll get out there. Let me or Kev know if you need to come off.” – Sam Allardyce

*The team march out in high spirits to take on Portugal in their first fixture since failing to qualify*

  • Big Sam’s art of defence tactic is impenetrable

Final Score: USA 1 – 0 Portugal

Clint Dempsey is the hero after his 35 yard shot is deflected off William Carvalho onto the post and in. The Portuguese failed to register a single shot on target.

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