Respect The Kid: Ken Griffey Jr. Statue Vandal Chased Down, Arrested By Mariners Fan

Ken Griffey Jr. is a god in Seattle. Lucky for the guy who stole the bat from Griffey’s statue outside Safeco Field, burning heretics is an arcane, unpleasant practice because he’ll fare better in police custody than if he’d gone to court in the streets.

A Mariners fan whose building has a view of the statue, which was unveiled earlier this year, saw the perpetrator desecrating The Kid and sprang into action, running to the street and giving chase until he caught up with the thief.

“We were shocked momentarily, then I realized I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.”

“If there’s one thing you don’t do in Seattle, Washington, it’s mess with the statue of Ken Griffey Jr.,” said Kelsey Klevenberg.

Seattle may be a city so liberal it borders on real-life meme, and the Mariners haven’t made the playoffs since ’01, but Ken Griffey (PBUH) is not to be trifled with. Unless you want that scalding venti coffee two pumps soy in your face, jail-style.

In an era colored by steroids (not that drugs haven’t been an intrinsic part of baseball since WWII), Griffey stands alone as the only transcendent hitter not to touch the juice. His 630 home runs are as pure as his swing.

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Had Griffey stayed healthy late in his career, he would have broken Hank Aaron’s record of 755 home runs. Barry Bonds’ 762 home runs don’t count because he is the juice; personified.

Perhaps there’s a silver lining to this statue vandalism. The statue is nice, but it doesn’t do Griffey justice. It’s not as bad as the Cristiano Ronaldo statue (at his own airport, no less) but it leaves a little to be desired.

Maybe, while the statue is “down for repairs,” the Mariners can do some detail work on Griffey’s head so he doesn’t look like a putty man anymore.

Ugly, vandalized statue or not, you’d be hard pressed to find an athlete that means more to a city than Ken Griffey Jr. does to Seattle.

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