No Touchy: The Weirdest Things People Have Gotten Insured

It’s a common occurrence to get valuables insured these days, like apartments and cars. But there are those out there that take things a step further and get things insured that you wouldn’t think was really necessary.

From celebrity body parts to Santa’s beard, these are the weirdest things that have been insured:


Taylor Swift once joked that her cat owed her $40mil because that’s how much her legs are worth. The caption of the now deleted photo was: “GREAT WORK MEREDITH I WAS JUST TRYING TO LOVE YOU AND NOW YOU OWE ME 40 MILLION DOLLARS,” Taylor exclaimed.

David Beckham has also insured his athletic stumps for a cool £100m. That’s about $70 million in dollars, so he’s got Taylor beat by a few million.


Bet you can’t guess how much Dolly Parton’s breasts are worth? Well, she’s gotten them insured for $600,000. Think again before honking some huge honkers, they could be worth a ton.

JLo has insured her bootylicious asset as well and for a damn hefty price. Jenny from the blocks famous butt is insured for $27million dollars. Damn, shawty.


Bruce Springsteen stands to gain an impressive $6 million if something were to happen to his voice. No one can quite belt “Born In The USA” like this rocker can, so hopefully nothing ever happens to his pipes. And if something does, he’ll get a nice payout either way.


Gene Simmons, the lead singer from Kiss, insured his famous tongue for $1million dollars. What if he bit his own tongue, like so many of us do, would he owe himself a million bucks?

Believe it or not he doesn’t have the most expensive tongue out there. Gennaro Pelliccia, Costa Coffee’s renowned coffee tasting expert insured his tasting ability (tongue) for $10million.


Don’t pull on your mall Santa’s beard, it might be insured. The Lloyds of London does insure the beard of Brady White who is Macy’s “professional” Santa Claus. So it might not be the real deal, but it’ll sure cost you a real amount of money if you damage it.

Similar to Santa’s beard, Merv Hughes, an Australian cricket player, considers his mustache to be a trademark of who he is. For that reason, his famous handlebar mustache is insured in the amount of around $400,000.

When the Pittsburgh Steelers’ Strong Safety Troy Polamalu signed to promote Head and Shoulders shampoo, his massive three foot curly mane was insured for $1million by the company.

Hair is a real big ticket item, people.


If you’re afraid of being abducted by aliens or turning into a vampire or werewolf, there’s an insure policy out there for you. In 2011, Parade Magazine reported that Shirley MacLaine, a believer in the existence of extraterrestrials, had, along with 20,000 others, taken out alien abduction insurance. Her policy was in the region of $25million.

Loch Ness Monster

The Cutty Sark Company has a waiting prize of $1.5million for anyone who captures this fabled sea creature alive. To cover their own losses, the company also has an insurance policy that will pay out if someone actually does come forward with Nessie on a leash. Win-win for them.

Moral of the story here, celebrities are full of themselves and you can basically get anything you want insured. Even your prized nose picking finger can be insured if you want it to.

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