If you believe you are in a relationship with a narcissist just watch out for his Pile Driver! Lex Luger? No? Anyway, if you are worried you are in a relationship with somebody with Narcissistic tendencies or a sociopath then some of these psychological terms may be relevant to you.
This is the way that a narcissist puts their hooks in, so to speak. They will shower you with compliments and affection and make you feel like you are the most important thing in the world. This isn’t necessarily just words either, they will shower you with gifts, take you on holidays. Chances are they will be moving way faster than people usually do in a relationship. The things they say are seductive, but don’t be suckered in. It isn’t real. If it all seems a bit too good to be true then it may well be!
You may think you have only just met but there is a chance that the other person has been following you for a while. Chances are they could have been stalking you for some time before you “met” be it on social media or physically. They will use the information they gleaned in their games.
They will vie for your sympathy by using stories from their past. Sometimes these are true but more often than not it will be lies.
What is their motive for this? Ultimately it creates a bond between you and them. But this intimacy is once again very false. They want you to feel a connection as once that connection has been made they can take advantage of it.
It may be that they tell you about a time they were abused by an ex and they may well come across as very morose but be wary. Most people don’t disclose this sort of information until far later in a relationship.
Gaslighting is an insidious practice often used by the narcissist to play games and toy with your emotions.
It’s a really simple concept of denial and lies. The narcissist will say something and then later deny vehemently that they ever said anything. At first this may just seem like they are being forgetful but eventually, the aim is for them to make you question your own sanity.
Jekyll and Hyde
Narcissistic people are excellent at controlling the ebb and flow of your relationship by using their “up and down” mood. The chances are they will be all “sweetness and light” in the presence of others but when away from the public eye the cruelty will begin.
There is a good chance this will get worse with time as well. Becoming more and more insidious as your relationship develops.
Narcissists are experts at deflecting and putting their own shortcomings on to their partner. They refuse to accept responsibility for anything and instead spin things in order to make it appear that it is their partner that has the problem and not them.
Devalue and discard
Once a narcissist has used you up and they feel there is no more “fun” to be had with you they will probably discard you and try and move on to the next one.
Unfortunately, it might not be as straightforward as them just leaving you. Often they will turn others against you. This is known as a smear campaign. They may even pull this stunt with your own friends and family. Remember narcissists are often expert charmers.
Whilst a narcissist may disappear once they feel they have suitably destroyed you. That doesn’t mean they are gone forever. Without them, in your life, you may well start to rebuild your shattered self-confidence and live your life. This upward mobility may well once again attract them to you and they may try the whole thing over again!
It is important that once you have rid yourself of this person that you remove them for good. You must cease all contact. They will be smart about it and make assurances that they have changed and things will be different. Rest assured that they haven’t and they won’t!