7 Shocking Things Serial Cheaters Have In Common

1. Afraid To Be Alone

People who have a habit of cheating may actually do so as a way of dealing with a fear of abandonment, which may stem from an individual having low self-esteem.

According to professional, Jatie Ziskind, “Cheaters irrationally think that by being with multiple people they won’t be abandoned. However, they end up creating surface relationships with many people and still feel lonely and insecure deep inside.”

Cheaters tend to turn to others as a way of feeling better, but it often ends up backfiring. Professionals believe that abandonment is the source of cheating along with insecurity, rejection, and shame.

2. They’re Constantly Looking For More Happiness

Many serial cheaters get into the habit of thinking another person will be what finally makes them happy, meaning that they tend to remain on a constant hunt for someone new who can excite and “complete” them in one way or another.

Rather than finding that with their current partner, serial cheaters take a new approach, often with the ‘grass is greener’ mindset which focuses on their partner’s shortcomings, while assuming a stranger will provide them with more excitement.

3.  They’re Overly Jealous

This one may seem a little obvious but serial cheaters tend to constantly question you and frequently accuse you of inappropriate behaviour or being flirtatious because of the tendency of being overly jealous over things that don’t often require it.

The sole fact that they are capable of being unfaithful puts them on a defensive mindset and paranoia sets in. Why? They believe that if they are guilty of it themselves then they assume their partner must be also.

4. They’re Opportunistic

According to Dr. Tabori, compulsive cheaters are usually in a position of power and can be very calculating about when they decide to strike against their victim(s).

“One is more likely to cheat when opportunity arises, not simply when they are away from their significant other, but when the opportunity to prey upon a potential mate presents itself. People who cheat will look for opportunities where the potential mate may be in a vulnerable state, such as after a break-up or divorce. When the preyed-upon is in a more vulnerable state, they are more likely to be open to and engage in the cheating behaviour because they miss the feeling of being loved and are not emotionally grounded enough yet to set secure boundaries.”

5. They Tend To Blame Their Partner

According to professionals, serial cheaters often take out their outbursts of frustration, anger, embarrassment, or feelings of inadequacy on their partner by cheating on them with the mindset that it is their partner’s fault.

“While their partner may indeed contribute to the problems, the serial cheater sees the act of cheating as the result of what their partner has done to them.”  Says Dr. Klapow.

The vicious cycle can lead to serial cheaters getting stuck in a rut and continuously reacting negatively in their relationships — and in-turn, finding ways to justify cheating.

6. They Don’t Want To Hurt Anyone

Believe it or not, a percentage of serial cheaters believe going behind their partner’s back is actually the nicest thing they could do in their situation. Weird, right?

Instead of being faithful, serial cheaters tend to steer away from the conflict they might run into when trying to come to an agreement on issues within their own relationship, and instead put their energy into an act that is even more damaging rather than address it.

7. They Justify Cheating

Many serial cheaters blame their partner when things tend to go wrong or generally decline in a relationship as a way of justifying their actions which would potentially involve them going behind their partners’ back.

“A serial cheater will blame their partner for lack of sex, lack of growth, lack of attention, lack of support, and so on and therefore feel entitled to look outside of the relationship to have their needs and wants fulfilled,” Williamson says.

 

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