If You Laugh At All These Jokes You Are Either A Genius Or a Nerd

Jokes are usually designed to make people laugh. It would seem some, however, are aimed at making some people feel intellectually superior to their peers. If you get all of these you are probably pretty switched on.

However don’t get too smug. Nobody likes a total nerd.

Light relief

A photon is going through airport security. It is asked if it has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m travelling light.”

Why is it funny? Because a photon is a particle of “light” that is almost always moving. So the play on words suggests that the photon isn’t carrying much lug….you know if you have to explain it…actually, that’s the point of this article.

irony

Pretentious? Moi?

Possibly the shortest “joke” ever. Basically, the joke here is that if you are English you probably aren’t required to often speak French. Doing so would make you sound pretentious. So the irony is that this person is questioning their pretentiousness in a pretentious way.

congratulations

A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor hands the newborn to the father. The mother asks, “Is it a boy or a girl?” The logician says, “Yes”.

You have to be a proper nerd to get this one! Logicians often use Boolean logic and according to Boolean logic a perfectly legit answer to that question is “yes”.

There are a few correct answers

How can you tell if you are talking to a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

Of course, it’s just a simple play on words. A plumber may look at this as being “unionized” IE being part of a trade union. Whereas a chemist may read it un-ionised as in this molecule or atom has no charge as it doesn’t have an extra ion.

Pro-feminism

Two women stroll into a bar and chat about the Bechdel test.

This is great because the Bechdel test is a measure of equality in the media. In order for a piece to pass this test, it must contain at least two women who talk to one another about something other than men. Which this joke does.

Good memories

Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven’t had any gigs yet.

It’s funny because there are 1024mb in a gig (IE a gigabyte) and this is just 1mb short of that.

Another classic quantum joke

Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A police officer pulls him over and says, “Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?” Heisenberg replies with, “No, but I knew where I was.”

No this isn’t about Heisenberg from Breaking Bad. Heisenberg was a German Scientists whose theory on quantum particles said that you can only ever know where a quantum particle is, or how fast it is going, it isn’t possible to know both at the same time.

Mad notes

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no minors.”

One for the music connoisseurs here. C Eb and G make up a C-minor chord…clever eh?

Smartass

A linguistics professor explains during a lecture that, In the English language, a double negative forms a positive. And that in some languages, a double negative forms a negative. He adds that in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative. But then a student comments, “Yeah, right.”

Isn’t it nice to see teacher proved wrong? We thought so too!

Numbers game

There are 10 types of people in this world: Those that understand binary and those that don’t.

This is funny because in the binary language 10 actually means 2 (binary is data represented using only 1’s and 0’s)

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