So we all know the main difference between an introvert and an extrovert, right? Introverts tend to shy away from people and like to spend time in their own head. Extroverts are a social animal, who like to share a lot. Seemingly at the opposite ends of a spectrum, but can you be both?
Well yeah, you can actually and when you are both its called being an ambivert.
Nobody really fits into each category perfectly anyway. It’s a spectrum after all.
The good news is that ambiverts do have a bit of an advantage over our extroverted and introverted cousins. Because we they empathise with both kinds of people it means they can adjust their behaviours accordingly making them way more personable. And that can only be a good thing.
Wondering if you are an ambivert? Well here are the signs to look out for:
Sometimes you need time alone. Other times you need to “people”
One minute you feel like you just need space and time alone, the next day you’re irritated by the fact everybody has plans because you want to spend time with people!
You fade away in big crowds. Around small groups you are the life and soul
Ambiverts tend to have the quality communication skills you’d associate with an extrovert but at the same time, they don’t always like using those skills when in a big crowd.
You are very choosy about you friends. It’s important they “get you”
An introvert may have very few friends. The ambivert will probably go for quality over quantity seeking friends, but not necessarily from the same social circles, valuing more the idea that their friends are people that really understand them.
You have different friends that you value for different reasons.
This can make it difficult for ambiverts to keep friends as they can come across as blowing hot and cold.
People tend to think of you as either introvert or extrovert. Never both
People aren’t necessarily going to just “get you” and I know it can be frustrating. Most people believe that introvert means shy and extrovert means confident. How can you possibly be both?
You’re Very Picky About The Social Functions You Attend
You aren’t going to be the sort of person that attends the opening of an envelope. You will focus your energy only on the activities that you truly feel you get a lot out of.
You Hate Small Talk
Nice weather eh? Ambiverts would much rather be talking about something meaningful. Any mind-numbing chit-chat and they are usually looking for an exit!
You’re Not Easy To Please
Yeah, I realise this list is starting to make ambiverts sound like they are hard to manage. Of course, not everyone will have all these traits. Did I mention that all people are different? Generally, you will value a mental attraction rather than a physical one in your relationships.
You Live In Your Head
If ever you find yourself drifting away in your head then this is classic ambivert behaviour. Sure sometimes you want to go out and party, sometimes you want to stay in with a boxed set, but no matter what you are doing you spend your time thinking!
So how does this even come about? How are these unnatural hybrids formed? Some of the start out introverted but have to “come out of their shells” to deal with the whole “life thing” say for instance you are introverted but your dream job involves talking to people a lot. Well, this means you have to adapt and us humans are good at that!
Ultimately, Introvert, extrovert, ambivert, it matters little. They are just labels really. What really matters is that you do what makes you happy!