There will always be a debate over whether guys can be “just friends” with girls. I know that is a very broad statement and for the sake of this article, I am of course talking about straight guys and girls. It seems in the modern world it is increasingly common for people to have opposite-sex friends, but can you have too many?
Times are changing
We don’t live in a world that is so far removed from the world 10 years ago. Guys and girls have always had plutonic friendships. However, these are traditionally less common then friendships with people of the same sex. While that trend will probably never fully turn on its head, opposite-sex friendships are way more common than they used to. But can you have too many opposite gendered friends?
Men are only after one thing
We are not. But it’s fair to say that often if a guy is friends with a girl, there is a strong chance he probably wants more. This isn’t always the case, but it often is. I can’t write whether the same is true for ladies, although from observation and discussion I don’t believe that this is the case. Ultimately if a girl doesn’t want more than a friendship then it is what it is. But sometimes that guy who always goes for coffee with you would like nothing more than to call you his own.
So how many is too many?
Friendships with the opposite sex are important and society has grown. Men are increasingly respectful of women and it becoming less acceptable for women to just be seen as sex objects. It does still happen though, unfortunately. I think the answer to this is there is no such thing as too many friends of the opposite sex if you are single.
The problem can come when you get into a relationship. Because of the aforementioned issue of guys being friends with girls but secretly wanting more, we intuitively know that if any guy is friends with our significant other that there is a strong chance he wants her too. For some guys, this won’t bother them. However, for less secure guys, this can cause anxiety like you wouldn’t believe.
Without trust, there is no love
Factually inaccurate! Just like with anybody you meet we have all taken our own journey. Guys with insecurities shouldn’t be considered as poor choices for partners. In fact, the reason they are insecure is probably that they have been hurt previously and don’t wish to suffer in that way again.
What can I do if my partner gets jealous?
Reassure them. Ultimately due to social media we all probably have half a dozen or more people on our Facebook that we have slept with or dated. That’s just the way the world works these days. This makes the world a nightmare for insecure types. Ultimately sometimes you have to ask yourself this question, what’s more, important to me, knowing my partner feels secure or going for a coffee with that person who isn’t really THAT good a friend.
What if I get jealous
It’s such a hard emotion to deal with. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with it. Try to realise that you are a catch and you are valuable and if they ruin things then it is their loss. Of course, if you are in love with someone that is practically impossible to do. Don’t be afraid to talk out your problems – any relationship worth the effort will be with somebody understanding. It’s okay to look for reassurance. It isn’t a sign of weakness and in many ways, it takes a stronger person to admit they are struggling.