The green-eyed monster can hit us all when we least expect it. That’s the troubling thing about falling in love. It turns your life on its head. People who are naturally rational, laid-back and calm can become angsty possessive monsters. But how do you deal with jealousy?
Know your foe
It may help to understand what is happening to your body when you get jealous. Anybody with insecurities can tell you how unpleasant it feels. Sometimes just dealing with the physical anxiety you feel when, say for instance they are going out drinking, can be a big part of winning the battle. The same things that work for an anxiety attack will help here.
That’s not to say that if they go out, you go out. By all means, do that from time to time. A girls night out seems like a good excuse for a lads night out, but if you both hit the same areas you are going to look like you are checking up on them. Don’t be that guy/girl.
Maybe plan for a mate to come round? Or if you are going to be having a night alone make it one that you will actually enjoy. If you don’t get to use the Xbox much treat yourself to a new game, or pick up a copy of that new rom-com that he won’t watch (please excuse the stereotypes, but they exist with good reason!) my point has an activity to look forward to.
Don’t stop with the activity either. Take away is mandatory. Make sure you order all the foods that you don’t get because your significant other is not a fan. Don’t be afraid to splash out on your favourite wine either. If you are home alone and feeling a bit meh it is definitely time to practice a bit of what I like to call selfulness.
Put your social media to bed for the night
People of our generation tend to post a lot when they go out. When you are insecure it is easy for your imagination to run wild. Yes, there is a guy in that picture with her, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be getting off with him! You probably felt better before you saw the pic, right? So just for the night put Snapchat and Insta to bed. You can handle their online stories far better when sat in their arms in the morning.
Don’t wait up
If they are coming in late, paranoia or perhaps just trying to be nice could see you wait up for them. This is self-flagellation of the dumbest order. Don’t do it, it’s lame. If you hear their key turn, by all means, treat them with a big hug and kiss, that’s cool. But literally, don’t lose any sleep over it. It’s actually pretty rare you see people getting off with people in bars and clubs these days. It’s called decorum. Besides your other half loves you.
For a lot of people, they are usually cool with the whole jealousy thing if there aren’t any big nights out on the horizon. Occasionally it can be hard to hear your partner talk about some guy/girl at work. But that’s one you are just going to have to “suck up” and deal with.
If you find you can’t or that your jealousy is getting out of hand then there are things you can do. Remember it is YOUR problem, but you can talk to your partner about it. Just do so with that mindset, knowing that they haven’t done anything wrong. If you have a good one they will support you.