These Are The Rules For 21st Century Dating

The rules. If you are dating in this generation, and from what I can gather any generation you will be familiar with the term. People bemoan “the rules” and some debate whether you should take any notice of them at all. But either way here is a list of “rules” for modern dating. Feel free to break them at your leisure!

How soon to contact someone after exchanging details

Way back in the ’90s there was a three-day rule, I believe. In the modern world, this seems really excessive. Three days in an age where interconnectivity is standard suggests a complete lack of interest. Leaving it a day is cool, any more than that and they will probably forget who the hell you are. Times move quick and so do rules.

Kisses in messages

One or two kisses means pretty much jack. Seriously, I put two kisses on messages to my grandad, and I REALLY don’t fancy him. Anything four or over suggests it is on! Three kisses are flirty territory. Anything over 5 should be a relationship only territory unless you want to put across that you are a stalker/weirdo.

First date ideals

Should you kiss on the first date? Actually, there are no hard and fast rules on this one. If it’s a day time date a snog might be a bit awkward anyway. But if you see each other of an evening the situation may arise. If it does and you are into them, go for it! Live a little.

Sending rude pictures

MEN – do not send a picture of your nob. It’s just tacky. Or at least wait until she/he has met your little fella in person! Neither gender should be pressured into sharing any pictures they don’t want to send. If you have to do this outside the constraints of a relationship make sure it is a picture that you can’t be identified in.

Putting out

Some people will have a minimum amount of dates before they “put out” this is totally up to you. If you want to “get down” on the first date, then why not? Having sex is fun. But make sure you are doing it for that reason. If you are doing it to make a person like you then you may not like the result. If you only want to give it up for the right person, by all means, wait until you are sure. But note “want to come to mine for coffee” still implies what it’s always implied.

Replying to messages/getting replies

If somebody replies and you take more than a few hours to reply they are going to get the message. If you want to let someone know you are interested don’t play it too cool. Conversely, you don’t want to clog up a love interests DM’s either. A good rule of thumb is to match their engagement level. If they message every couple of hours then do the same.

Making things Facebook official

This needs to be a conversation. The fact that this comes further down the list than whether you should have sex with someone is an indictment on society!

Dropping L-bombs

Between a man and a woman, the old rule about the man going first should probably still stand. A lot of guys will feel pressured if you say it first or emasculated. Sure that’s not cool, but we haven’t yet moved past the age where men get emasculated easily.

When to back off

If they start “reading you off” or ghosting you when they have been online then perhaps it’s time to cut your losses. Don’t chase ghosts you aren’t Egon Spengler. If they are coming on too strong, tell ‘em. If they are keen they will adjust their behaviour. If they don’t ditch their clingy ass!

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