With the massive furore surrounding the Momo challenge perhaps it is time to give our kids something more wholesome. Let’s rewind to more halcyon days; Back to our youths where kids movies were just fun and inspirational, right? Wrong. They were bloody terrifying.
Here are the top ten kids movies that will lead to you hiding behind your sofa.
Charlie and the chocolate factory
The original always had a slightly trippy feel, but there was one scene in particular that stood out. The gang had just left the mixing room and were on a boat heading down the chocolate river. The boat enters a tunnel as Gene Wilder sings a haunting song and a wealth of horrific, graphic images flash across our screens. What the hell? As for the remake, avoid it altogether. It freaked me out and I’m an adult!
The Neverending story
I’m all for fantasy worlds that need saving but as an impressionable, single-digit-aged child. I did not need to see a poor horse drowning in a movie. I just didn’t need to see that. I’m haunted by it to this day. And don’t get me started on the snarling wolf. How did they get away with that? It’s bloody creepy.
Yes, there are parts of this that are cute and endearing but the prevailing tone of this movie is dark and desperate. Which in itself probably makes it a no-no for kiddies. But throw in the red puppets that tear each others heads off and a chilling masquerade scene and you will find this film is scarier than most modern day horror movies. Yes, I’m talking about you Hereditary.
The Dark Crystal
Everything about this movie is creepy. From the sense of uncanny valley, you get when you see the gelflings to the giant beetle-like creatures that are sent to try and kill the movies hero. And don’t even get me started on the Skeksis! Who in their right mind thought that giant, decaying, demonic-looking birds were cool as the villains in a kiddy movie? The eighties were weird!
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Okay, so this film is mostly quite jovial. But the kid catcher? Is there a more horrific affront on childhood innocence? Not only does he look scary and demented, but his literal job is to kidnap children.
Is this even a kids movie? Who is it’s demographic? I watched this as a child and it gave me nightmares. Not so much Slimer and Stay Puft who were just cool. But the dog statues and the ghost in the library? Whoever thought that ghosts were a good idea for a kids film?
The book is quite creepy as well. Roald Dahl’s classic was brought to the big screen with some of the most hideous looking witches imaginable. Everything about this film is creepy, but perhaps most frightening is the painting that moves. I couldn’t look at a painting for months afterwards.
While there is a lot of humour in this movie it still is pretty suspenseful in parts. This is largely down to the creepy score and some of the animals. The giant spiders spring to mind. Older kids will love it but be wary around the younger ones.
As a child, you really don’t need to see that many skeletons in a movie. This was effectively Indiana Jones for teens, but I wouldn’t show it to anyone younger than a teenager, lest you scare the living daylights out of them.
The Wizard of Oz
I can sum this up using just two words – flying monkeys! Even as an adult I’m still traumatised.