1. Avoiding Confrontation
A 2018 study published by the American Psychological Association found that a habit of withdrawing or shutting down when being confronted by your partner can negatively affect your relationship. Although some do it to avoid confrontation, this habit can make your partner feel like their needs are being ignored. According to researchers, a “demand-withdrawal” dynamic tends to hurt higher income couples more because they have access to resources that can help fix marital problems. When you have the resources to work it out, but one partner isn’t interested, it can cause tension in the relationship.
2. Holding Grudges
If you’ve been married longer than fifteen minutes, chances are good that your spouse has done something to offend you and you’ve done something to offend him/her. When our words or actions cause harm, we need to be quick to admit fault and seek forgiveness. When your spouse has wronged you, you need to offer grace quickly so that trust can start being rebuilt and there’s no room for bitterness to take root in your heart. Don’t use past hurts as ammunition in arguments. Let grace flow freely in your marriage. No marriage can survive without it.
3. Being Jealous Of Your Partners Success
A 2018 study by Swedish researchers found that women who earned less than their husbands when they first got married were two times more likely to get divorced once they started seeing more success at work. Women who made their way up to leadership roles were less likely to stay married to their husbands than women who went for a higher position but didn’t get it. According to researchers, they believe this happens because women are more likely to leave relationships that are inflexible and offer less support. Socialised gender roles could have possibly played a factor in this as well. These findings only applied to marriages where wives started off earning less than their husbands.
Keep in mind, some of these things like fighting over chores or video game addiction don’t directly cause divorce. It can, however, contribute to distance in the relationship in some cases. When there’s distance and negativity present in your relationship, you’ll have to work together to overcome it if you want your relationship to last.
4. Making Decisions Without Consulting Your Partner
Our pride can often convince us that we don’t have to answer to anyone, and we should be able to make decisions without consulting anyone. Pride has been the downfall of so many marriages. The healthiest couples have learned that EVERY decision they make as individuals will have some level of impact on each other, so they respectfully and thoughtfully consult each other in every decision.
5. Arguing Over Little Things
A 2018 study from the Harvard Business School found that 25 percent of couples listed “disagreements about housework” as their reason for getting divorced. Couples who had the luxury of outsourcing basic household tasks were happier in their relationship overall. When you’re tired from a long day of work, the last thing you want to do is wash the dishes. Unfortunately, these small tasks need to be done. If your partner isn’t doing their fair share, it can cause arguments. If this happens constantly, it can lead to greater dissatisfaction with your relationship.
6. Losing Track Of Finances
Money can be a huge problem for couples, especially if they’re not on the same page. In fact, according to research by the Federal Reserve Board, couples who have a greater difference in credit scores are more likely to separate within five years. People with the highest credit scores were more likely to have long-lasting committed relationships. Most recently, a survey conducted by Student Loan Hero found that one in eight couples blame student loans for ruining their relationship.