You may have heard the term being “selful” banded around. The concept is to do things for you. Not because you are being selfish but because sometimes it is necessary. This may sound scary to people who suffer from poor mental health but let’s take a look at why it is important.
You can’t pour from an empty jug
I know that this has been used so many times it is almost a cliché, but clichés exist for a reason! This one is particularly true if you want to be selful. Perhaps you are a single mum, maybe you are the person that everyone looks at as a big brother. Either way, it can be emotionally draining to act as the main support to groups of people.
It is impossible to give part of yourself it just isn’t there. In order to be a friend to people you sometimes have to take the time to do exactly what you want. When you are empathic sometime it is hard to say no to people. But eventually, you have to do that because you are important and taking care of yourself allows you to take care of others, remember It’s not being selfish, it is being selful!
Energy is important
We are all guilty of doing this. We prioritise work and housework above all else. After all, these are things that are seemingly the most important. While it is good to stay on top of these things taking time for yourself is important. Those dishes will still be there tomorrow!
So if you are feeling exhausted then prioritise the activities that energise you. For some of you, it may be socialising. For some, it may be a warm bath with some nice candles. Treat yourself. You do deserve it. Then when you do approach the housework the chances are it will get done faster because you feel more energised. It sounds counterintuitive but it’s true.
All work and no play
And the clichés keep coming. It is massively important to get the right balance in your life. Perhaps you feel you are at a point in your life where work is important to you and that is cool. But always be wary of your other needs. I know it is and an overshared piece of doctrine but check out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs! In order to reach living utopia, we need more than just food, shelter and work!
Give love to receive love
Here is the thing about being selful, the difference between being a selful person and a selfish person is your motivation. If you are looking after yourself in order to better look after others then how can anyone, yourself included, have an issue with that?
Here is the thing about looking out for other people. It is fair to say that at times it can be a drain, but it is also rewarding. Helping a person to overcome adversity also provides yourself with a sense of well being. It is also a great opportunity to take your mind off of your own problems for a while and if you are somebody who struggles with their mental health this can be a blessing.
Be kind to yourself
At its core being selful is all about being kind to yourself. You cannot control how others treat you. In fact, accepting that in itself will help your mental health. The only person you can control is you. It is ultimately up to you to look after yourself. So being as you are the only person who you can control, why not use that control to be kind to yourself? Give yourself credit and tell yourself you deserve a rest from time to time. It’s what being selful is all about!