Salt-N-Pepa once sang “let’s talk about sex”. And many of us do. It seems the media is obsessed with sex and judging by the number of people that consume that content I think it’s fair to say the general public is pretty fascinated too. But what is the big deal?
Come on guys
What is it they say, that a man thinks about sex every seven seconds? That’s not even close to being true. When you think about it that does seem ridiculous. In fact, just over half of men think about sex a few times a day. And 43% of men say they think about sex a few times a week. That’s according to studies done by the Kinsey Institute.
So why is it everywhere?
To be quite honest the abundance of media outlets peddling sex and provocative images is part of the reason it is never far from our consciousness (although further than the pre-conceived notions suggest.) Or perhaps it is because it is never far from our consciousness that advertisers continue to use it? There is a bit of a chicken and an egg paradox here. Ultimately though, the old adage still rings true – sex sells.
Why is it important?
Its sense of importance is no doubt elevated due to its exposure. However, even in the hunter/gatherer sense, sex is important. It is the reason most of us are even here. It governs a lot of our thoughts and actions. There is a reason it is at the very bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It isn’t just that we want sex, it’s that we need it. Our bodies desire to procreate is one of mankind’s most pervasive driving and motivational forces.
It’s not just hormones
However, it isn’t just the chemical impulses that make it so important. Sex is a vital ingredient in a relationship. One of the most common reasons for the breakdown of relationships is a mismatch in libido. Ultimately if a person wants regular sex and the other person doesn’t that mismatch will cause issues and those issues can manifest in a couple of different ways.
Ultimately if a person is getting enough at home, they’re probably not going to play away. Of course, that is a generalisation and ignores a whole host of other factors, but by-and-large if people have a healthy sex life they don’t tend to stray.
It is a cruel world we live in where people attack people that they claim to love, either physically or verbally. Often this can happen as a result of a mismatch in sex drive. If a partner becomes sexually frustrated and isn’t emotionally literate enough to deal with those feelings often their frustration can be acted out in a physical way. In many ways, this is why communication is so important.
So what if my other half has a higher/lower libido than me?
There are things you can do! If you just don’t always feel in the mood perhaps you can do activities just to please your partner, like perform oral sex on them. Or maybe if you are the person whose sex drive is insatiable but your partner only wants to do it once a week, you can use masturbation. Ultimately if you really love someone you can overcome this, but more often than not it is prudent to find someone who is in tune with you sexually.
Sex isn’t that important, is it?
I’m afraid it is, yeah. There are two sides to a relationship the emotional and the physical side. If things aren’t going so well emotionally but your sex life is great it can help you to feel better about not having your emotional needs met. When the physical side is out of kilter it can make the smallest of issues be blown out of proportion.