Kissing may not seem like it is that big a deal. I mean the majority of us love a good smooch. I’m sorry smooch? I realise that hasn’t been used in perhaps three decades. But it is actually far more important than you might realise.
Whether you realise this or not people in relationships often need reassurance. With people who are a little neurotic or insecure, they probably need a lot of reassurance. The rest of us will need this on some levels even if we don’t realise it. Of course, these insecurities are at their worst when we first start dating somebody.
Not always bad
The fact that these insecurities exist isn’t a bad thing. From a purely practical point of view, we should be a little n4ervous. Far too many people dive into relationships too quickly in the modern world!
These insecurities are a factor in our bodies anxiety response. It is partially because of this we get that “butterfly” feeling. After all, you wouldn’t be nervous about somebody liking you if you didn’t find them attractive. So kissing helps with this, right? I mean yes obviously and it is more often used during the start of a relationship but that doesn’t mean it loses its importance as a relationship evolves and progresses.
Why you need reassurance
A relationship relies on two people feeling like they are wanted. If your insecurities are left unchecked then it could lead to you acting in a manner that is cold and unloving to the other person. This can then lead to the other person becoming insecure and acting likewise. Can you see where this leads? You end up with a cycle and the breakdown of a relationship between two people who actually may well be well suited to one another.
Avoid the pain
There is a very easy way to avoid this. Kissing. Experts suggest that you should kiss your partner at very least twice a day. In the morning before parting for work (assuming you do a day job!) and once in the evening for seven seconds. Which doesn’t sound like a long time but when all you are doing is a kiss it can seem borderline awkward!
Why physical contact?
Because we are physical creatures. Have you ever heard of the phrase talk is cheap? Well, that is definitely the case when it comes to affirming the status of the feelings of a loved one. You could tell them they are great 100 times and they wouldn’t believe it but when you linger over a kiss the physical contact triggers your body to release hormones such as oxytocin which helps to create feelings of well-being. It also helps to create a bond between you as well as reinforcing your security in the bond you already share.
Think about it, even when we are babies we crave the physical sensation of the touch of another human being. You can try to shush a baby to stop its crying but ultimately you know the best way to soothe them is to pick them up and cuddle them.
Cart before the horse
Usually we have an emotion and we express that emotion in a physical way, but actually, the opposite can happen. The very process of kissing a loved one can trigger an emotion. After all, it’s very hard to kiss somebody and feel absolutely nothing. Especially if it is someone that you care about. So, therefore, this small token gesture as part of your daily routine will help both you feel secure in your relationship and help remind you why you are together in the first place.