These days we do a lot of our dating online. The days of meeting people in the real world seem quite far behind us. In some ways that makes a guy approaching a girl at the bar more impressive. In an era where you can chat so readily with a potential partner without risk of embarrassment, a guy who isn’t afraid to approach another guy or a girl comes across ballsy. But how do you do this and not look like a muppet? We’ve got your back.
Prepare for a test
One of the first lessons of trying to pick up people in a bar is to expect some kind of resistance. It’s very rare that you are not going to get the other person tell you to sling your hook in some manner. Sometimes this will be because they want you to go but more often than not it is a test.
Be persistent but not a weirdo
If this test is dismissive of you, by all means, take it as banter and if you can make a joke out of it. However, if they literally say to you “please go away” that does not translate to “please try harder” tone is very important here. If you survive the test (and there may be more than one) that is half the battle.
Beware the lone wolf
If you are a guy and you approach a girl in a bar. If that girl is alone you can almost guarantee that she is waiting for a friend or that she has a friend in the toilets, or sometimes a boyfriend. If they come back it can be awkward. You are going to need to deal with that level of awkwardness in a way that makes you seem confident and good humoured. A pick up is all about confidence.
Approaching a group
The reality is that most people don’t go out by themselves. People tend to go out with their friends. So if you are planning on performing a pick up you are probably going to have to approach a group at some time. This can be completely nerve-wracking. Anxiety will build as you approach but like with anything it is all about confidence.
Body language is important. Don’t lean in as it seems desperate and needy but stand close enough so they can hear when you speak. But what do you say when you do speak? If you’re funny and you have a good opening line, by all means, use it, if not just go with a really honest greeting. Something along the lines of “I was just here having a drink and you guys seemed a lot of fun, so I thought I would come and say hi” How can anyone be nasty to somebody who uses that opening line, right? And once you are there…
Show your personality
Don’t ask too many questions. It is okay to talk about yourself. In this scenario, you are a mysterious stranger. You can glean details about them from the way they treat you. Remember we talked about tests? In a group, you will get lots of them! Be prepared to be made fun of. If the group accepts you don’t overstay your welcome.
Divide and pick up
If there is a member of the group you are attracted to focus on that person. Your goal is to try and get them away from the group for some one on one time. This may sound like a difficult thing to do, but it’s deceptively simple. Offer to buy a round of drinks and ask her/him to help you. This makes you look like a big shot and it helps get them away from the group. Clever eh? Of course, this is just scratching the surface, there are lots of neat tricks you could employ. But the most important tip is to be confident!