We already talked in detail about some of the clichés us parents use. However, as a group, we are known to tell the odd fib. Sure, we want to raise our kids, to be honest – but occasionally a little white lie brings our blood pressure down to an acceptable level. Here are the 10 things we don’t want our kids to find out aren’t quite true.
You are not sharing your food because it is spicy
All kids hate spicy food. It is a sad but true fact and one that we can put to our advantage. Especially useful when you have served up the kids a lovingly prepared meal of chicken nuggets and frozen chips and are awaiting your Chinese takeaway. “no, you won’t like this, it’s spicy”.
The swing park has a closing time
Because they can literally spend hours in that place. I don’t know how they manage it. I get bored after about 3 minutes. So when we feel they have had enough enjoyment for the day we put an arbitrary closing time on the park. Is that really so bad?
If the wind changes your face will stay that way
Although this is potentially what happened to Donald Trump. Just kidding we love his face, it is the perfect size for a dartboard! I’m no meteorologist but the number of funny faces I have pulled, statistically the wind should have changed at least once, right?
TV’s run out of batteries
Not only is this not true you also won’t get square eyes from watching it too much either. In fact, in my entire life, I have never seen a single person with square eyes. I think the condition itself is made up.
Swallowing apple pips will cause a tree to grow inside of your kids
What a horrific thing to tell a young person – shame on you. However, it is worth noting that apple pips do contain cyanide. However not enough to do any damage, but I hope you feel appropriately guilty for your horrifying deception.
The Ice cream van plays music when they have run out
The type of person who uses this excuse is the type of person who keeps a supply of choc ices in the freezer. To be quite honest with the rising prices of ice cream I don’t blame you. This is why I moved into a top floor flat, in the long run, it will be cheaper.
There is a world record for putting toys away
However, there is no prize for beating this record. I guess the prize is being able to reside in a tidy bedroom. Honestly, I think I’d prefer a gold medal.
Santa doesn’t visit kids while they are awake
Of course, there is the little fact that Santa doesn’t visit at all. Your lie is also really a tough sell when you consider that the kids probably noticed that for the past three weeks there have been pressies under the tree. How do you explain that, Carol? Eh?
Chicken the animals aren’t what make chicken nuggets
You are also pretty wise not to point out that those cute cows in the field are what make up their double cheeseburger! If you want to make sure your kids eat their meat don’t tell them where it comes from, they will figure it out when they are old enough to deal with it.
Your nose twitches when you lie
If this was really true then nearly every parent would walk around with a constantly wobbling nose! Also, it is worth noting that you don’t get spots on your tongue when you lie. Although this is a useful rumour to propagate as often kids will cover up their face when they lie, giving you a very real “tell”. Genius.