Whether we like to admit it or not, we all care about what others think of us and want to be liked. Now, the basics of getting people to like you are obvious — be nice, be considerate, be a decent human being and just generally have a positive attitude, and while all of those things are all true, there are also many smaller, more discreet things you can do that can have a huge effect on how others perceive you.
1. Give People Sincere Compliments and Praise
As noted again by the famous self-improvement expert Dale Carnegie, individuals crave authentic appreciation. This is very different from empty flattery, which most people are adept at detecting. No one likes a brown-nose, and most people don’t particularly love being pandered to. What people really want is sincere appreciation — to be recognised and appreciated for their efforts.
In addition to giving people sincere appreciation, it’s also important to be generous with your praise. People love being praised, and is it any surprise? It feels great to be told you’ve performed a job well. When an individual does something right, say so. It won’t be forgotten.
2. Taking Time To Listen
To truly win someone over, nothing will do the trick quite like asking them questions, and then genuinely listening to their response.
According to professionals, simply giving someone the opportunity to share with you what makes them tick will go far in building a friendship or a general relationship with you. Listening to what someone has to say can lead to you becoming instantly likeable to someone because you show them that you are curious and eager to learn about them.
To do so, try asking open-ended questions or encouraging them to tell a story, followed by “reflecting back key points of the conversation,” she says. This is also a good go-to trick if you’re feeling nervous, as they’ll be the ones doing all the talking.
3. Offer A Small Compliment
According to professionals, by being observant and paying a genuine compliment to someone, they will feel that you really pay attention to them and that they matter in your life in some way. Do you love someone’s outfit? Think they’re great at their job? Or admire their confidence? Let them know. It’s as simple as that!
Small gestures like these can win people over, simply because they show you’re paying attention, and are eager to get to know them. Whether you’re mirroring, asking open-ended questions, or simply offering a compliment, it’ll be tough for them to form anything but a positive impression.
4. Be Real and Relatable
People like to see character and authenticity. While classic business doctrine pushes the importance of an alpha male stance (shoulder back, chin up, strong handshake), it’s easy to go overboard and come off as fake.
Instead, try to be confident but respectful. Some cooperation experts suggest stepping toward a person and bending slightly forward when you’re introduced, in a gesture of a bow. These kinds of gestures can go a long way toward making people think more highly of you.
5. Avoid Being Cliché
Let’s face it — most of us don’t like boring people. They are snores and horrifically uninteresting. Instead, we like the unusual, the unique, sometimes even the bizarre.
One great example of situations in which it’s important to avoid clichés is in interviews. Rather than parroting the “nice to meet you”s at the conclusion of an interview, add some kind of variation to make you memorable, even in a tiny way. Try something like “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you today” or “It’s been a real pleasure learning more about you.”
Incorporating these pleasantries will surely score you some brownie points with your new acquaintance. Don’t worry, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel — just be yourself.