What If eSports Were Like Regular Sports?

If eSports were real life they would be quite different from what they are. If you have attended an event or watched a stream of one you will know they have much in common with their physical counterparts, but here are some ways they would change if they took a leaf out their “brothers” playbook.


Yes, it is fair to say people do celebrate when their team wins in an eSports event, but it is all high fives, fist bumps and fist-pumping. To be fair such celebrations are commonly used in sports like tennis. But imagine if they start looking at Football and NFL for tips on celebrating the W. We could have players slamming their controllers to the ground as if they have just powered into the N-zone. Or players taking off their shirts and whizzing them around! No offence to pro-gamers, but for the majority of them…nobody wants to see that.

Faking injuries

Football (or soccer for some) has a terrible reputation for player diving and trying to con the referee. Imagine the scene, you are on the back of a killer streak on Call of Duty when some camping newb stops you just short of a nuclear strike that will see you clinch the match. Rather than accepting that his wily plan bested you you drop your controller to the floor and roll around like it is you that has been shot and blame the whole debacle on fatigue. Meanwhile your team loses dude to your histrionics! Bad times.

Post-match showers

Amateur and pro sports alike tend to have a need for a post-match cleansing. After a day spent on the pitch (or 5 if you are a test cricketer) You do get a sweat on. That is far less prevalent after a day of gaming, however there is no doubt that amateur gamers can be a smelly bunch. Maybe this is something that needs to come to the fore.


Would it really be too much of a leap to see this actually happening? Most pro sports teams have a team mascot. This has given rise to mascot races, and even rivalries between team mascots. While the gaming scene may be more associated with cosplayers than traditional mascots is there any reason why this can’t be a thing? It needs to be a thing!

Oranges at half time

Okay, so this one is mainly seen in soccer matches. And actually in the modern world this is seen less and less. However, as an amateur footballer I recall fondly munching down on a cheeky couple of orange segments at half time. Those were simpler times in many ways. The reason this needs to appear in gaming is clear. Because just eating hot pockets and Chicago Town pizzas is not a healthy lifestyle!


This is perhaps where eSports tends to come up short against physical sports. Thake premier league football as a for instance. Most of the teams in the league have a history spanning more than 100 years. There are fierce rivalries and nearly every team has a storied history against one another. There are tales of police dogs saving teams skins and beachballs costing teams points. You can’t fictionalise that, it will come with time.


In the NFL they wear shoulder pads. Cricket has a much-needed box to protect a man’s giggling berries. Even football has shin pads. Imagine now if you will a group of gamers takes the stage looking like extras from a Star Wars movie or better yet like a Legion of Doom tribute act. They might not need the protection but wouldn’t it be lovely if they did it anyway?

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