If you are a hardcore gamer you will have encountered that awful feeling when people want you to do things when all you want to do is game. It’s a nightmare isn’t it? So here are some great excuses to get you out of spending time with the 3-dimensional people.
I have a cold/tummy bug/the plague
It doesn’t matter how charismatic you are (or think you are) nobody is going to want to spend time with you if you are coughing your guts up or worst vomiting. Don’t go too far and send pictures of you faking being sick, it’s a giveaway you are telling fibs. Just chill in your jim jams and game.
I have run out of money
This is the perfect way to escape a night out with the girls/lads. One of two things will happen here. Either they will accept your excuse and you will be free to pop off headshots on Call of Duty. Of course, if your friends are particularly altruistic they may say, “come out, we will pay for you.” This means you will have to go out, but hey, it’s free.
I can’t leave my dog/cat/stick Insect alone
Just make out that the significant creature in your life has had an operation lately. The benefit of this is that you probably will be cuddled up with your pet, so you’re not technically lying. Unless your pet is an actual stick insect. Of course if you haven’t got a pet you can always lie and say you have. In for a penny, in for a pound. This is especially great if used on bonfire night as most animals hate the loud noises.
Of course you may struggle to use this if your other half is the person you are trying to cancel on. From experience this is not the best way to let them know you’re not happy, either! But if it’s for someone other than your significant other then it might perfect. Careful though, if they are close friends they might enquire further and that might test your lying ability. If they are drinking buddies they will probably prefer to avoid awkward chats.
I am having a priest exercise the house
This falls under the remit of, ‘its So mental that it cant be a lie.’ Nobody is going to come out with this if it isn’t true. If they ask why it is being blessed or exercised then perhaps claim it’s the spirit of a little girl ghost. Not only are little girl ghosts the scariest of all the ghouls, but it’s also the most believable…right?
I’m waiting for a parcel to be delivered
This might not be the best excuse to get you out of a night at the pub, but if you’ve got daytime plans this can be an absolute godsend. If you are a gamer there’s a strong chance you’ve got a new game winging it’s way to you soon anyway, so it might be that you don’t even have to lie. Although maybe tell them it’s something a tiny bit more important.
You are going to court
There is no way they can possibly demand your attendance if you are in court. If you would rather not come across as a criminal you can claim its jury duty. Be wary of using this with work. They’ll probably want proof.
Your house has been taken away by a whirlwind and you are currently in Oz
This is advanced level lying so you best have brushed up on your fibbing skills. They also might think you are barmy and have you committed. Of course you could claim you are being actually being committed and almost nobody is going to ask you to do anything, freeing you up for infinite gaming.