Need An Excuse For Losing, Here You Go

We have all been there. We are enjoying a nice game of FIFA online. We are comfortably coasting a goal up and then out of nowhere your opponent grabs four goals and you end up humiliated. Perhaps they edged close to the edge of the sofa, am I the only one that does that when I’m concentrating? Either way, rather than conceding that the better man, or woman won. Here are some classic excuses for losing online.

My kids interfered

Kids are just wonderful for using as an excuse in general. Want to skip out on that party? Man, babysitters are hard to come by. Work asking you to do extra hours, sorry…childcare. So why not put the little blighters to work as a great excuse for having an atrocious KD on Call of Duty? You can say they got in the way of the screen, or that one of them grabbed the controller. The possibilities are endless.

My fire alarm went off

You can’t really use this during a game of FIFA, the opponent will be able to see that you were still running around. Which you wouldn’t be able to do unless you were watching the game. You’re not Schrodingers cat, or at least I assume you are not if you’re reading this, anyway isn’t he dead? (I checked, yes and no) however, it works fine in shooters where nobody would have spent their time watching you. This is especially great if your play style is to camp like a noob anyway!

Lag

This is a tried and tested excuse that never seems to go out of fashion and tends to work for most games, with the exception of turn-based games. It is genuinely frustrating when you are suffering from lag. To see your player stutter around and not be able to react at the same rate as your opponents is deeply frustrating. However, there is no reason you can’t claim it’s an issue when it isn’t. Apart from the fact that lying is wrong, but what are we? 8?

The electric went

This is the perfect excuse to use if you rage quit because you can’t be doing with losing to a pimply twelve-year-old anymore. If you have thrown the controller to the ground and turned off your Xbox in disgust, pm the dude you were playing an hour later saying “sorry, power cut” you get to maintain the moral high ground.

Your cat jumped on you

This is especially good in a team game if you clam up when your own team is expecting you to clutch. If you don’t actually have a cat then you can still use this, just not with close friends as they will probably visit your house and expect you to, you know, have a cat. Of course, you could claim it just died, but how deep do you want to dig your well of lies, seriously I think you may have a problem.

Mum called me for dinner

This one is probably less likely to wash if you are 33. And if it is still believable at that age then you probably need to reconsider a few life choices. However, for our younger readers, this is the perfect excuse. And really relatable for anyone else of your age.

Controller drift

Now I don’t know if this is an issue for any other console. But over time Xbox controllers degrade and their analogue sticks start drifting. This makes playing games a real chore and controllers are pricey. So while this is definitely a bad thing it does make a rather handy excuse to round off our list.

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