There is now a Cristiano Ronaldo-based religion

After Cristiano Ronaldo’s injury at the final of Euro 2016, his sister, instead of betraying him, took to the great communication tool in the sky we know as Instagram to anoint her brother.

According to Google translate, CR7’s sibling said: 

“Just as Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross for a better world this Cristiano shed tears for the pain of not being able to fight with his companions.’ I’m sure this struck a chord with all Christians watching, or should we start calling them Christianos instead?”

Perhaps we should look at the evidence…

He certainly rose again after his injury to take (and possibly keep) the trophy.

The Real Madrid superstar has also acquired a small child without knowing the mother, in echoes of another biblical story. A shock revelation where Ronaldo finds himself as the Virgin Mary never seemed possible before, but does it ring any bells?

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A photo posted by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

Rather than whine Ronaldo turned a reporter’s microphone into the water. In fairness he had just asked about the Messi-ah.

Like every modern day Jesus, Ronaldo can’t make it alone and requires his disciples – or ‘squad’ as it’s known in 2016…

So love him or loathe him, Christian or Christiano, it is safe to say after the group stages they needed a miracle, and a miracle they got as well, with several hundred moth-like angels as their supporters at the EURO 2016 Final.

Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Jesus Christ and Cristiano Ronaldo in the same room?!


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